Dogs experiencing separation anxiety are in a state of panic. They are not in control of their behavior any more than you would be if you were trembling and dry-mouthed about something that terrifies you, such as flying across the country, speaking in public, or hearing something unexpectedly go bump in the night.
Some of the general behaviors that might indicate a dog is suffering from separation anxiety or isolation distress could include those as mild – or even vague – as pacing, whining, mild chewing, and intermittent barking, to more extreme, such as severe destruction, self-mutilation, aggression towards the guardian (like a Jekyll and Hyde personality), salivation and drooling, vomiting and diarrhea, panting where the lips are more horizontal and mouth is tense (not the same as if he or she were warm or just exercised), and trying to escape. Other outward signs that pet parents might see evidence of are sweaty paws, disinterest in eating when they’re alone, and eliminating out of panic — as if they were “peeing their pants.”
While separation anxiety is sometimes seen as a frustratingly intractable problem to solve, Certified Separation Anxiety Trainers (CSATs) use proven techniques that have helped countless dogs – and their families! Here are some tips for helping your dog with separation anxiety:
Separation Anxiety “Do’s”
- Do talk with your veterinarian to rule out any medical conditions.
- Do keep in mind that dogs are social animals; they are not pack animals (that myth was debunked years ago!). This means they need to learn to enjoy being alone — some dogs more than others, and each is unique. Because we have bred and raised dogs to be companions to us humans, if we don’t provide companionship and/or we don’t condition them to enjoy being alone, they could risk developing some variant of separation distress.
- Do work with a trainer who is certified in separation anxiety to determine if your dog has separation anxiety or isolation distress. It’s helpful to work with someone who specializes in this scope of dog training and behavior modification.
- Do understand this is an emotional condition, and you can’t reinforce an emotion — only a behavior. So, protocols that include desensitizing the dog to be left alone are the best approach. Systematic desensitization is used to shape the dog to “trust” and feel comfortable being alone, basically in “dosages” of minuscule absences.
- Do divide routines into little bitty steps and doses, that keep your dog below their breaking point — it’s the “Hmm, what’s going here?” versus the “OMG they’re leaving me!!!” It’s important to keep these mini absences stress-free, so the condition doesn’t worsen. This means suspending absences, so your dog isn’t left alone.
- Do enlist help from others to be with your dog when you cannot be in order to prevent the onset of the fear/panic response, in other words, to keep your dog ‘under threshold.’
- Do make sure your expectations are realistic and that what you envision matches your dog’s abilities.
- Do consider looking at your situation from a different perspective. Sometimes we need to stop and appreciate ALL the things that our dogs do that are completely endearing and wonderful!
- Do remember, you are not alone. Keep up your own spirits. Maintain respect, compassion, and patience — for both yourself and your dog.
Separation Anxiety “Don’ts”
- Do not leave your dog alone for longer than the amount of time he or she can handle without panicking.
- Do not take it personally. Separation anxiety is a real emotional panic disorder. Your dog is not being spiteful or naughty or trying to make you feel guilty about leaving.
- Do not blame yourself – it’s not your fault. Sometimes pet parents blame themselves for their dog’s condition, but again, each dog is unique and you just never know how they will react when confronted with spending time alone. Similar to other diseases, like cancer or heart disease, some dogs are more prone to this condition than others are. No one is to blame — it just is what it is. Instead of focusing on a specific cause (often there really isn’t one), it’s best to focus on a solution.
- Do not blame your dog. They are not being spiteful, getting revenge, or plotting for being left alone. Again, separation anxiety and isolation distress are panic disorders that need to be addressed. All they want is your help and compassion.
With a little help, and a lot of patience, before you know it, you’ll be back to living a calm, peaceful life with a dog who is happy that you’re home, but is secure, confident, and able to enjoy their “me time” while you are gone.
Here’s to being inquisitive about helping dogs with separation anxiety!