In July 2015, The Inquisitive Canine team supported CEO Poncho’s entrepreneurial decision to launch a few ventures in the great beyond. A philanthropic pooch through and through, he left behind a letter for his dear readers and fellow inquisitive canines, along with a three-part series from his Last Woof & Testament. In Part 1, Poncho shares advice for supporting pet parents after a beloved animal companion dies.
Greetings, inquisitive canines and dog parents!
Poncho the dog here. I’m always happy to speak up for those who want to be heard, and this time, I’m doing so from my new residence: the great beyond. I dearly miss my parents — they shared the best cuddles and warmest smiles — but I’m happy to report that I’m comfy here, so please tell them not to worry!
Speaking of my mom and dad, some of you — especially those hearing this news for the first time — may be wondering what you could possibly say to comfort them. I’m happy to answer. Since this advice applies to anyone grieving the death of an animal companion, here are a few things you might say — and some things you may want to avoid.
Lead with Empathy
The death of a beloved animal companion can be devastating. For many pet parents, the relationship is every bit as significant as other family relationships. Before you speak, pause. Try to meet the person where they are rather than deciding how they should feel or what might make them feel better.
Keep It Simple
You don’t need to find the perfect words. Or any words for that matter. Just be present. If you do want to speak, ask how the person is doing and give them room to respond — or not. Listen without trying to solve, explain, or reframe their grief. Your quiet presence might be exactly what they need at that moment. You can even ask them if they just want a hug or shoulder to cry on.
Make It Personal
When talking with a grieving friend, it’s understandable to fall back on familiar phrases such as “I’m sorry for your loss.” Try personalizing your words by using the animal’s name: “I’m so sorry Poncho died.”
If the person seems open to sharing, you might gently ask, “How did Poncho come into your life?” or “What would you like me to know about him?” These questions give pet parents an opportunity to talk about their relationship and memories without making them feel pressured to respond.
Respect Boundaries
If the person isn’t ready to talk, honor their pace. Saying, “I don’t know what to say, but I care about you,” may be enough. You can offer your company, a practical favor, or — if you know it would be welcome — a hug.
What to Avoid Saying to Grieving Pet Parents
People often reach for a bright side because they genuinely want to help. Unfortunately, even well-intentioned phrases can minimize someone’s grief or suggest that they should feel differently.
- “He was old.” A long life together doesn’t make a death easier. This statement may sound as though the animal’s age should somehow lessen the grief.
- “He was sick, and you did all you could.” Grieving pet parents may already be replaying difficult decisions or wondering whether they could have done something differently. This reassurance can unintentionally intensify those doubts.
- “That’s why I always have more than one dog at a time — to help with the transition.” That approach may work for some people, but the choices pet parents make are personal — and so is their grief. No two animals or relationships are interchangeable.
- “He had a good life.” A good life and deep grief can exist together. This statement may sound as though happy memories should make the death less painful.
- “Just know he’s in a better place.” Although intended to comfort, this assumes something about the grieving person’s beliefs. It may also serve as a painful reminder that their loved one is no longer physically with them, which is the best place.
Helpful Tip: Connect with Pet Loss and Grief Support
My parents found pet loss support groups extremely helpful in those early days. They attended a group, facilitated by someone compassionate and skilled, that helped them navigate anticipatory grief and connected them with other wonderfully supportive pet parents.
If you or someone you care about needs additional support, look for a pet loss support group, grief professional, or licensed mental health professional who understands companion-animal grief. Support can be helpful both before and after a death.
OK, it’s time for me to go chase some tennis balls. Be sure to check out Parts 2 and 3, my inquisitive friends!
Updated August 2026.